I've only been home now for 39 days (not that I'm counting...) but Spain already seems like a life time ago. I'm working on other pieces of writing, detailing some of my adventures abroad and sometimes it's hard to recall the stories, the events, sometimes even the people correctly. The life of a study abroad student is so extreme and fleeting, it's like life on overdrive. One minute you're rushing around trying to get a study visa, the next minute you're drinking in a bar full of spanish people you only met 3 hours earlier and can barely converse with, and the next you're knee deep in grammar homework and best friends with someone you may never see again. And things that normally take a month, a year, a decade to happen in real life seem to develop at a much faster pace, it's almost like life-in-fast-forward.
The thing about studying abroad is, it's a fantasy which appears to be so close to real life that sometimes you forget that it isn't your real world. That's one reason why the adjustment into the real world is so hard for many of us, especially when your exchange is in a country very contrasting from your own. It's kind of like being on a reality show like the Bachelor/Bachelorette or Big Brother, I know that sounds stupid, but hear me out...
Like in a reality show, you're thrown into this unfamiliar world, surrounded by a bunch of people in the same situation and you are essentially isolated from the outside world. In Big Brother you make fast friends and form alliances with people because it is a necessity on many levels, even if they're people that you probably wouldn't be friends or close friends with in a different situation. And because of that, there is usually some drama, you can't be that surprised though, it's an extreme life style and there's going to be some chaos. Also like the life of Big Brother contestants, people are constantly leaving and you never know when one of your friends or enemies will suddenly disappear or if you will ever see them again. That's one of the things I love and hate the most about the study abroad life style.
During my exchange I met so many interesting people, both in Spain and on my travels, and they are really what made my exchange an such an incredible experience. I met some really amazing people, some of which I will most likely never see again, luckily with today's technology some of them I am able to keep in contact with via Facebook/Skype/etc. I also met a lot of rather odd and crazy people, some super friendly people, and some worn-down, old grumps, but my exchange wouldn't have been the same without all of them. I look back and I'm just so thankful for having the opportunity and for everything that happened, even the bad times because all experiences teach you something.
Like being on vacation or on BB, we all did things we might not normally do in our real lives or acted in ways that don't necessarily reflect our "North American personas." And that mostly has to do with the environment in which we were living. For example, we went out and drank almost everyday because it was part of the life style/culture and it was cheap, we stayed out till 6am or 7am on a pretty regular basis, including weekdays, and that became normal. Some people were more outgoing or more introverted or more whatever because of how comfortable they felt in the new life style, along with knowing that they will probably never see most of those people after the year is over. And you can't blame them, us, because it is like almost getting a fresh start or a break from reality, you get to be whoever you want to be and nobody is the wiser. Friends can be lost as quickly as they were made.
Okay, maybe I'm making life abroad sound a little superficial, and in some ways it is, but at the same time, I actually made some real, solid friendships. Because of the extreme situations you find yourself in, you also tend to make real, deep connections a lot faster than you would in normal life because you know your time is limited, you don't have to see them after the exchange if you don't want to, and that this person is more or less in the exact same boat is you. This in someways, kind of like alcohol, lowers your inhibitions and makes you open to much more (I love how open people ie. exchange students, travellers, even Europeans in general, were.) In Spain at least, we partied a lot harder, loved a lot harder, and lived a lot more open and free than we do here, well I can't speak for everyone but I did anyways.
Some of the people I made close connections with are ones that I met for only a few days, many of whom I Actually still keep in contact with, and it's crazy/amazing. Ironically many of the people I was with all year I have already lost contact with or never bothered to keep in touch with once I left European soil. Perhaps because I got to know them enough to know I didn't like them or there was a falling out or whatever other reason. People constantly come and go in your life, and I'm just thankful that they entered into it at all, even if for only a week, a day, an hour. It's just something you have to accept, even though sometimes that seems hard because they are such an amazing person and your paths only cross for what seems like a much-too-short amount of time. But that's life, I believe or at least hope, that everyone comes into your life for a reason, normally to teach you something, good or bad, and help you grow in some way.
Okay, back tracking a little from the philosophical, karmic, meaning-of-life rambles, I'm going to continue on a little bit more with my ridiculous reality tv metaphors, ready? So the Bachelor, how does that apply to study abroad experiences? Well, as I've already said, life abroad seems extreme and the Bachelor is pretty much extreme dating, wouldn't you agree? You're thrown into this situation where you are trying to get to know people as fast as possible and knowing that any moment, they could fall in love with you or be cut out of your life forever. You're both (supposedly) looking for the same things, opening up your hearts and hoping to find a connection with a stranger who (sometimes) quickly becomes a friend and perhaps a lover. Also, on the Bachelor half way through they all go abroad to some fantasy destinations and go on the most romantically-ridiculous dates you could ever dream of in some of the most beautiful places on earth... They're amazing but not anything like real-life dates, and inevitable they get swept up into it and seem to forget that their relationship will not always be like that. They fall in love so fast and many get their hearts broken, and usually in the end, the bachelor and his fiancé don't end up staying together because the fantasy wears off and reality kicks in and that's a whole different story. So far there's only maybe 4 couples from all the Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons that are still together. Sad times. Aha jk.
Okay, maybe trying to find love abroad isn't as ridiculous as the Bachelor but how many times do you meet someone in such a foreign situation and it actually works out? I know of people who met someone while living abroad, studying abroad, or traveling, and ended up dating, some even getting married, and I hope that maybe one day that'll happen to me, but really, what are the odds? I didn't fall in love in Spain, I fell in love WITH Spain, but I never fell for a guy there (perhaps because I wouldn't allow myself to, knowing the inevitable heart break) but that was me. Many of my friends however, did find boyfriends/girlfriends and have amazing relationships...don't get me wrong, I'm all for finding love and I did meet some pretty incredible guys during my travels that maybe could have become something if the timing had been better or the situation different, but it wasn't and that's life.
Now though, they all have the problem of what to do now that exchange is over, this is the real test... Of course they all want to stay together but many of them are now on different continents from their significant others and reality is setting in. I really hope some of them can make it work but in reality, how can you? You have to REALLY and I mean REALLYYY love someone to be willing to talk to them everyday and be faithful and committed to them knowing you may not see them again for months or even years. I know they say that if you really love someone you can make it work, but reality isn't always so kind.
Maybe right now they still talk every morning or every night but time differences are tricky and life gets in the way, maybe they'll start fighting or just talking less and less, and what if one of them begins to have interests in people in their vicinity. I don't know, I know letting go of love is hard, Very hard, but sometimes it's the only thing you can do unless one of you decides to pick up and move your whole life for someone you've only known for less than a year.
It is amazing though isn't it, there's so many people in the world, and it doesn't matter that they're from Spain or Finland or Turkey or Kenya or Korea, they still understand you, have the same sort of humor or problems, and can relate to you in so many ways. It's also great because you know that they are there for the same reason you are, they want to be on exchange to learn a new language, experience a new culture, and see the world, which I suppose is another reason why you tend to find many people who are so like-minded and in sync with you.
Life in Spain is just so different to here, it changed the way I think, the way I live, the things I value, the way I eat, and my appreciation for different styles of life. My days there just seemed so full and there was always something going on, perhaps that's why the slowness of my current suburban life seems more exaggerated than usual. It's definitely taken some time to get used to but I guess I'm finally starting to feel a little more settled again here.
I can't believe how fast my time abroad flew by. I went to so many crazy places, experienced so many interesting things, and met so many amazing people. It was a life-changing experience in many ways. There were so many surreal moments I remember just stopping and thinking, is this really my life? Maybe that sounds cheesy, but I was fortunate enough to have so many amazing opportunities, live such an awesome life style, even if for only 9.5 months, and I really learned how to appreciate it.
And you all now know about my secret, summertime reality tv addiction.
Time for bed!
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